_haveInternet_() {
    # DESC:   Tests to see if there is an active Internet connection
    # ARGS:   None
    # OUTS:   None
    # USAGE:  _haveInternet_ && [SOMETHING]
    # NOTE:   https://stackoverflow.com/questions/929368/

    if command -v fping &>/dev/null; then
        fping 1.1.1.1 &>/dev/null \
            && return 0 \
            || return 1
    elif ping -t 2 -c 1 1 1.1.1.1 &>/dev/null; then
        return 0
    elif command -v route &>/dev/null; then
        local GATEWAY="$(route -n get default | grep gateway)"
        ping -t 2 -c 1 "$(echo "${GATEWAY}" | cut -d ':' -f 2)" &>/dev/null \
            && return 0 \
            || return 1
    elif command -v ip &>/dev/null; then
        ping -t 2 -c 1 "$(ip r | grep default | cut -d ' ' -f 3)" &>/dev/null \
            && return 0 \
            || return 1
    else
        return 1
    fi
}

_httpStatus_() {
    # DESC:   Report the HTTP status of a specified URL
    # ARGS:   $1 (Required) - URL (will work fine without https:// prefix)
    #         $2 (Optional) - Seconds to wait until timeout (Default is 3)
    #         $3 (Optional) - either '--code'  or '--status' (default)
    #         $4 (optional) - CURL opts separated by spaces (Use -L to follow redirects)
    # OUTS:   Prints output to STDOUT
    # USAGE:  _httpStatus_ URL [timeout] [--code or --status] [curl opts]
    # NOTE:   https://gist.github.com/rsvp/1171304
    #
    #         Example:  $ _httpStatus_ bit.ly
    #                   301 Redirection: Moved Permanently
    #
    #         Example: $ _httpStatus_ www.google.com 100 --code
    local code
    local status

    local saveIFS=${IFS}
    IFS=$' \n\t'

    local url=${1:?_httpStatus_ needs an url}
    local timeout=${2:-'3'}
    local flag=${3:-'--status'}
    local arg4=${4:-''}
    local arg5=${5:-''}
    local arg6=${6:-''}
    local arg7=${7:-''}
    local curlops="${arg4} ${arg5} ${arg6} ${arg7}"

    #      __________ get the CODE which is numeric:
    code=$(echo "$(curl --write-out %{http_code} --silent --connect-timeout "${timeout}" \
        --no-keepalive "${curlops}" --output /dev/null "${url}")")

    #      __________ get the STATUS (from code) which is human interpretable:
    case $code in
        000) status="Not responding within ${timeout} seconds" ;;
        100) status="Informational: Continue" ;;
        101) status="Informational: Switching Protocols" ;;
        200) status="Successful: OK within ${timeout} seconds" ;;
        201) status="Successful: Created" ;;
        202) status="Successful: Accepted" ;;
        203) status="Successful: Non-Authoritative Information" ;;
        204) status="Successful: No Content" ;;
        205) status="Successful: Reset Content" ;;
        206) status="Successful: Partial Content" ;;
        300) status="Redirection: Multiple Choices" ;;
        301) status="Redirection: Moved Permanently" ;;
        302) status="Redirection: Found residing temporarily under different URI" ;;
        303) status="Redirection: See Other" ;;
        304) status="Redirection: Not Modified" ;;
        305) status="Redirection: Use Proxy" ;;
        306) status="Redirection: status not defined" ;;
        307) status="Redirection: Temporary Redirect" ;;
        400) status="Client Error: Bad Request" ;;
        401) status="Client Error: Unauthorized" ;;
        402) status="Client Error: Payment Required" ;;
        403) status="Client Error: Forbidden" ;;
        404) status="Client Error: Not Found" ;;
        405) status="Client Error: Method Not Allowed" ;;
        406) status="Client Error: Not Acceptable" ;;
        407) status="Client Error: Proxy Authentication Required" ;;
        408) status="Client Error: Request Timeout within ${timeout} seconds" ;;
        409) status="Client Error: Conflict" ;;
        410) status="Client Error: Gone" ;;
        411) status="Client Error: Length Required" ;;
        412) status="Client Error: Precondition Failed" ;;
        413) status="Client Error: Request Entity Too Large" ;;
        414) status="Client Error: Request-URI Too Long" ;;
        415) status="Client Error: Unsupported Media Type" ;;
        416) status="Client Error: Requested Range Not Satisfiable" ;;
        417) status="Client Error: Expectation Failed" ;;
        500) status="Server Error: Internal Server Error" ;;
        501) status="Server Error: Not Implemented" ;;
        502) status="Server Error: Bad Gateway" ;;
        503) status="Server Error: Service Unavailable" ;;
        504) status="Server Error: Gateway Timeout within ${timeout} seconds" ;;
        505) status="Server Error: HTTP Version Not Supported" ;;
        *) die "httpstatus: status not defined." ;;
    esac

    case ${flag} in
        --status) echo "${code} ${status}" ;;
        -s) echo "${code} ${status}" ;;
        --code) echo "${code}" ;;
        -c) echo "${code}" ;;
        *) echo " httpstatus: bad flag" && _safeExit_ ;;
    esac

    IFS="${saveIFS}"
}

_pushover_() {
    # DESC:   Sends a notification via Pushover
    # ARGS:   $1 (Required) - Title of notification
    #         $2 (Required) - Body of notification
    # OUTS:   None
    # USAGE:  _pushover_ "Title Goes Here" "Message Goes Here"
    # NOTE:   The variables for the two API Keys must have valid values
    #         Credit: http://ryonsherman.blogspot.com/2012/10/shell-script-to-send-pushover.html

    local PUSHOVERURL
    local API_KEY
    local USER_KEY
    local DEVICE
    local TITLE
    local MESSAGE

    PUSHOVERURL="https://api.pushover.net/1/messages.json"
    API_KEY="${PUSHOVER_API_KEY}"
    USER_KEY="${PUSHOVER_USER_KEY}"
    DEVICE=""
    TITLE="${1}"
    MESSAGE="${2}"
    curl \
        -F "token=${API_KEY}" \
        -F "user=${USER_KEY}" \
        -F "device=${DEVICE}" \
        -F "title=${TITLE}" \
        -F "message=${MESSAGE}" \
        "${PUSHOVERURL}" >/dev/null 2>&1
}